Friday, November 6, 2009

News from the future... or Planet Stupid

The way things are heading, Mary Jane--the evil weed, will be decriminalized in our lifetime. Well, your lifetime. With my luck, the law will go into effect the day after I step on the rainbow. So, it's not inconceivable for a hapless soul--named, say, Calvin Hoover, to call the cops to report his stash had been stolen. But neither Calvin nor we are in the future. We are in the here and now, and calling the Marion County Sheriff's Department from outside the Freeloader Tavern to report--between bouts of projectile vomiting--that someone broke into your truck and stole 400 bucks, your favorite (read: only) jacket and 3/4 oz of pot qualifies you as being a resident of Planet Stupid.

5 comments:

mjs said...

Mmm...note to self: must go to the Freeloader Tavern...

++++

Davaudian said...

Hmmmm, I thought oregon was the first to decriminalize less than an oz.....never leave your stash and your money in your truck, especially while drinking and talking shit to a bunch of retards. And, never get the cops involved......dumbass.

barryshap said...

It's amazing how a few words can be so confusing. You are referring to Mr. Hoover, I take it, as the one "drinking and talking to a bunch of retards"-- the other patrons in the Freeloader Tavern. Again, Mr. Hoover is the dumbass? Ah, but his ID says he is a resident of Planet Stupid. What do you expect?

As for frequenting the aforementioned Freeloader Tavern--since Lancaster Drive is the embodiment of the very worst America has to offer-- from chain restaurants, tire stores and "exotic" lounges-- I'd tend to stay away from the Tavern, or any other bucket of blood on that road.

Davaudian said...

Duh, of course Hoover, who else? Of course Planet Stupid...run by Barney Frank.

barryshap said...

You just had to go there, didn't you.